You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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