I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
