what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
