go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
