Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
