your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize