It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Hippo gnu deer
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I think a kid would responsible me up
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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