The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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