Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
