that's an acceptable place to lick
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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