she looked like the before picture.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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