If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
