I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Two words: nipple clamps
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