What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
