and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Watching her eat just hurts me
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
