This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Randomize
