im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
