Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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