Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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