Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
