It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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