I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
