He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
