on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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