fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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