please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
