I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
