I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize