I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
