somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
