Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
And then my night got REAL pukey
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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