Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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