True but thats because hes a fetus.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
