how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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