So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
