your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My bed smells like the plague
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