they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
this just has baby written all over it
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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