was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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