My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
