I heard we made out
Acid is not a monday night drug
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
