Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
