The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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