wanna go halves on a baby?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
