I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
