I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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