Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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