Ambien. No doubt about it.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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