i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
