That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
