I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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