wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
