maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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