the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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