He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
