Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
