using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize