just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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