THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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