Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
