so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I have already put on my inside pants.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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